“you’ll never be alone, you will always have me darling. Don’t you know you’re all I could ever ask for and more?” He said to me,”I don’t have any elaborate or luxurious gifts but I’ll always love you and treat you like no other.”

I felt myself giving in to him and I told myself I shouldn’t have. Because ultimately, everyone is temporary and will leave in the end but i thought that if there was one person that was destined to be with me, it would be him.

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and you asked me why i started smoking so much,
i told you it’s just because i wanted to stop thinking for a bit,
i didn’t want to feel emptier than i already was,
wishing he was there to hold me.
Just because i wanted to forget everything he and i ever had
and that we will no longer be laughing at the movies
or singing to our favourite songs together.
Just because i couldn’t accept that he was doing our things with someone else
who wouldn’t appreciate the way he says his words
or the way he arranges his hair in the mirror.
Just because i lost myself trying to find him.
Just because.