To the man i love the most;

If I had the opportunity to tell you everything one last time;

After everything I had done for you, why did you fuck me up so bad? I was always there for you when you needed it, I always tried my best to give you all the support you needed. From even the simplest things like waking you up on time to comforting the demons in you, I put in my heart and soul into shaping you to be a better person. And what did you do?

You ran.

You ran from all your “disastrous” situations, you ran from me even when I offered everything I could. Overtime I started to doubt that you genuinely loved me, and it ate away at my soul, bit by bit. Gradually, I got neglected by you, and decided to invest more time into friends. But you couldn’t accept it. You were so utterly jealous and hurt that I had given someone just a bit more attention than I usually would. You refused to accept it and started blaming me for the lack of attention when I’ve been feeling it all the while. Nevertheless I still wanted to reassure you that all was fine and that I still loved you with every fibre of my being. Time after time in our relationship, you got more aggressive with your words and your behaviour around me.

It wasn’t long till everything went downhill from there. From mini tantrum throwing to arguments that spanned over a couple of days, you lost faith in me just because things got rougher for us. You were too weak and couldn’t brave through the storm with me, even though I tried so very hard to push forward, in hopes that at the end of it all, you’ll still love me unconditionally.

But you didn’t.

You left me for her, the girl that you gave all your undivided attention to when you didn’t want to face the monsters ahead of us. I thought we agreed to put on our war paint and charge forward? What happened? What happened to all your promises and commitments?

I wish I could say I hated you for doing this to me, for cheating on me. Somehow, I still find myself worrying about you, even though you’re no longer mine.

How easy it must’ve been to throw everything you had with me away, just for her. How great it must have felt when you left me hanging, spending all your time you had with her. I was the one who supported and loved you, so why did you have to do this to me?



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